Observations on a Recent Consumer Safari…

shopping

words overheard: “I’m allergic to lettuce.”

sights seen: a little girl in a princess costume dancing to her own music

things felt: the cold hard metal of a shopping cart as it rammed my calf

odors smelled: the rancid citrus urine from the plastic bathrooms

tastes collected: the cinnamon granola samples given by sample trolls

words overheard: “Put it down! You’re not getting it!”

sights seen: A leather toupée, I repeat, a leather toupée

things felt: the heat blower blowing hot air at the entrance door

odors smelled: popcorn and pizza from the convenience cafe

tastes collected: a small sample of a dumpling dipped in salty soy sauce

words overheard: “If not for bad luck, I would have none at all.”

sights seen: a shopping cart full of bad food choices being pushed by a 376 lb. woman

things felt: guilt for judging the 376 lb. woman

odors smelled: the overpowering smell of rubber in the automotive area

tastes collected: the creamy zip of tangy sherbert

words overheard: “How do you..she don’t like that…hunh?

sights seen: yes, stretch pants with stirrups

things felt: the dodgy broken shopping cart wheel sticking again

odors smelled: the wafting cloud of store bread being baked

tastes collected: pleasantly delicious mini hot dog bagel combo

words overheard: “Helen, do we really need that?”

sights seen: High School Musical paraphernalia everywhere

things felt: the stares of people as I dance to my own music

odors smelled: wet sawdust that covers the vomit near the rugs

tastes collected: my own bad breath from eating all the samples

words overheard: “I can’t do that right now, Shelia. I’m on break for cripse sakes!”

sights seen: stranded shopping carts full of misplace items

things felt: my leg falling asleep as the lady in line argues every total

odors smelled: the exhaust of passing cars in the parking lot

tastes collected: the last swig of flat coca-cola classic left in the car overnight

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