“Flim-flam Artist”

Poem 26 pick up sticks. Sir Benjamin M., threw out the inspiration for this poem: Flim-flam Artist. Despite the obvious, I’ll go with the rhythm I feel when saying Flim-flam Artist. I’ll add a dash of the cadence of one of my favorite books that I read to my children: Chicka Chicka Boom Boom.

 

funny-used-car-salesman-crooked-banker-lawyer-27877485
Public Domain -https://thumbs.dreamstime.com/m/funny-used-car-salesman-crooked-banker-lawyer-27877485.jpg

 

“Flim-flam Artist”

A Film-flam artist was strolling down the street.

Preying on the first rube he happened to meet.

Selling time shares,

and luxury suites.

Signing dotted lines,

and sweeping dreamers off their feet.

 

“Whatcha’ got cooking Mr. Flim-flam flee?”

“That’s for me to know, and you to believe.”

 

“Whatcha’ selling to a man like me?”

“Everything you’ve wanted, I guarantee.”

 

“How can I trust, that you’ve my best interest at heart?”

“Opening your purse strings, would be a good start.”

 

“Why should I give my money to you?

“You’ll pay me to take what’s yours before I’m through.”

 

“But I have nothing, Mr. Flim-flam flee.”

“You underestimate my motives, you have more than you see.”

 

“My wife is waiting at the old oak tree.”

“Collateral for taking, such a fine beauty.”

 

“Good day, sir. I’m away, you barter in jest.”

“Surely, one more moment, it will be for the best.”

 

“There’s nothing you have that could compel me to give.”

“I can think of something that will open you up like a sieve.”

 

“G’day, strange fellow I must be gone.”

“I can help you travel to the great beyond.”

 

“You cannot promise that. No one ever comes back.”

“You must trust me, all you do is sign this contract.”

 

“I can’t, and I won’t and I shan’t sign for you.”

“If you don’t do this, then your wife will leave you.”

 

“How could you know what my wife would do?”

“Because I am death, and I’ll take her instead of you.”

 

“No, it’s a trick. This simply can’t be.”

“I told you,  you’d pay me to keep what’s yours from me.”

 

“Then the trick’s on you, you crusty old ghost. You had me sold with your first ample boast. I’ll sign anything to pass on this cow. My wife’s a calamity, and you can have her right now.  You have what I want which is my liberty. I won’t sign your contract so I can be free. Take this fine beautiful harpy with mouth like a razor, you’ll soon be abused by her ill-mannered behavior. I like the deal you press upon me, I take it, good day. In fact, she’s for free.”

“It seems, I’ve made a mistake kind sir. I meant the guy walking behind you, I’m sure. I tell you grim-reaping is not what it used to be. A Film-flam artist is desperate making ends meet. I wish others could walk in my shoes. If I don’t make my quotas the boss hits the roof. Let’s keep this transaction between you and me, if word gets out I’m finished indeed. There is nothing I have to sell you, I can see. If I did such a thing it would only hurt me.”

 

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