Still nothing better than this….


Hello my dear ProCrasstheNationeers,

I’d like to share my affinity for Charles Dickens. In my estimation, “The Christmas Carol” is one of the most important works of English Literature. I love to revisit this old ghost every Christmas. I set here today, one of my favorite passages. As an aspiring writer, I always get goosebumps when I see an introduction to a story done well. The start to this Dickens’ classic is among the best ever written.

Stave I: Marley’s Ghost

“Marley was dead: to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that. The register of his burial was signed by the clergyman, the clerk, the undertaker, and the chief mourner. Scrooge signed it: and Scrooge’s name was good upon ‘Change, for anything he chose to put his hand to. Old Marley was as dead as a door-nail.

Mind! I don’t mean to say that I know, of my own knowledge, what there is particularly dead about a door-nail. I might have been inclined, myself, to regard a coffin-nail as the deadest piece of ironmongery in the trade. But the wisdom of our ancestors is in the simile; and my unhallowed hands shall not disturb it, or the Country’s done for. You will therefore permit me to repeat, emphatically, that Marley was as dead as a door-nail.

Scrooge knew he was dead? Of course he did. How could it be otherwise? Scrooge and he were partners for I don’t know how many years. Scrooge was his sole executor, his sole administrator, his sole assign, his sole residuary legatee, his sole friend and sole mourner. And even Scrooge was not so dreadfully cut up by the sad event, but that he was an excellent man of business on the very day of the funeral, and solemnised it with an undoubted bargain.

The mention of Marley’s funeral brings me back to the point I started from. There is no doubt that Marley was dead. This must be distinctly understood, or nothing wonderful can come of the story I am going to relate. If we were not perfectly convinced that Hamlet’s Father died before the play began, there would be nothing more remarkable in his taking a stroll at night, in an easterly wind, upon his own ramparts, than there would be in any other middle-aged gentleman rashly turning out after dark in a breezy spot — say Saint Paul’s Churchyard for instance — literally to astonish his son’s weak mind.”

Along with egg nog, Christmans music, and It’s a Wonderful Life, Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas for me without the hopeful message of this enduring text.




Eve the Enchanter & Slappy-applause Nan Teaser

Dear ProCrasstheNationeers,
It turns out that mi mejor amigo out in Sunnytown (West Coast Bandit) reminded me of something that happened many moons ago.

Mind you, it was not something to be forgot, but with all of this craziness in life happening about me, stuff gets back-burnered from time to time.

At any rate, I made my sacred bond to he, and I make the same to you, that I will one day tell of the story of Eve the Enchanter and Slappy-applause Nan here on this blog. I like to tease. So there it is.

A few points for you to dwell on while imagining Eve the Enchanter and Slappy-applause Nan.

1.) there is no ambiguity here, Eve was a man, and a hell of a lot more Enchanting then several Enchantresses I’ve encountered in my hellion days.  Even during the period that I was searching for lost idols and bartering with donated blood and Cool Ranch Doritios in the Dominican Republic (by the way, a used adolescent Jim Rice baseball glove has no apparent value in the D.R. )

2.) There were others involved in the night in question, and for the sake of propriety I must insure that they would be flattered by being featured in this telling (yeah right, shit’s going to be exposed, consider this as fair warning)

3.) Eve still haunts me to this day, and I must do justice to his visage, his actions, his soul, and the begrimed bubble gum pud that hung out of his tinker-tailor-soldier-spy Daisy Duke’s that night.

4.) Slappy-applause Nan must be out there in society somewhere, although she may not remember that night, I am sure that with the right hypnotist we could regress backward through time and help her to remember.

All these things are important, and must be cared for in the telling. So look for the Tale of Eve the Enchanter and Slappy-applause Nan by week’s end, there will be laughs, there will be tears, and yes I will have all the answers to the most important questions in life.

So stay tuned…..